Happy Happy, Joy Joy! After an eternally long offseason, the Verizon IndyCar Series is finally back and by the grace of God I've got the day off so I can watch.
I hope you've read my 5 things to watch for, because today's race is sure to be a banger.
This is the first installment in a new blog series, Stray Observations. We all have that inner monologue when watching a race. I've decided to share mine with you. Enjoy!
12:21- It's 9 minutes to air for ABC, and this broadcast couldn't come soon enough. There's an infomercial for MyPillow disguised as a talk show. It's unbearable .Google the MyPillow guy's story though, it's pretty riveting. Former crack addict turned self made success is the makings of a totally rad Lifetime movie. But he wrote a terrible jingle for his product.
12:28- Infomercial over, IT'S TIIIIIIIIIIIME!
ESPN On ABC Signature hits and I get that "Make me feel gooooood" feeling from Monster's Ball. THIS IS GONNA BE SO GOOOD. That ESPN IRL music STILL gets me excited like I'm 10 years old.
Jon Bheekius caressing the new car of Will Power. I wanna caress the new car too, Jon. Such a sexy beast.
The car puts the racing "Back in our era," says Scott Goodyear. Does this mean Little Al's gonna steal your job? Please?
Incidents from practice shown and the impressively large crowd pops for Helio in the background.
Baby Come Back plays in my head as 'Piderman clings to the fence for the command. Command given. Damn, this was a compact prerace.
I'm gonna get a non alcoholic light beer, opening day only comes once a year after all.
Josef Newgarden takes viewers for a ride around the course and I still believe the visor cam is scary as hell.
"Hinchcliffe has the Lucas Ayul on board." Never change, Allen Bestwick. I better hear your voice crack like a teenager this year.
Field to the green AND HEEEEEEERE WE GOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Oh wait where's RHR?
Lap 1- WHOAAAA PLEASE NOBODY HIT HIM!!!!!!
And oh, there goes Tony. I guess the slump continues...Darn.
Replay of Power's spin. He hit kinda hard. Kimball goes off. Man, there's a lot to keep up with here. Yellow out.
Looks like TK experienced a Bash At The Veach, a heh, heh, heheheheheheheheheueueueheuehue, a hehhhhhh, heh, that was bad.
Power's team replaces the rear wing and ABC goes to break. OH BOY A MISSED RESTART!
Lap 7- Aaaaaaaaand Spigot goes around. Yellow again. This is gonna be one of "Those" races!
ABC Profiling the rookies and uh. Did Scott Goodyear just take his headset off? Er. Uh. Okay, that was awkward. (ABC Went to break and almost immediately busted back in.)
OOH, CICI'S PIZZA! AAAAaaLLL YOU CAN EAT FOR ONLY THREEEE NINETY NINE!
Like anyone watching can afford an Alfa Romeo.
Restart and OH NOES! Rossi tags the wall! He's still making passes, so I guess his car's okay.
I'm impressed, 30 minutes into this race and no distracting plugs for network programming. It's like they figured out race fans don't watch The Bachelor. Oh wait....
Second time Scott Goodyear says the car is like those of old. I'm starting to think he's wishing he could jump into one.
Leist has a problem and my Lord, what a bad day for Foyt so far.
OOH, TIME FOR A WORD FROM MY ABC STATION!!! I just love WTVC ever since being purchased by *Shudder* Sinclair.
Lap 22- Hey wait when did the LED devices on the cars count pitstops? That's so cool, I just love new fangled technology.
Lap 25- I tell ya, Wicky's puttin' a hurtin' on these boys. I like it.
Oh, did I miss Bourdais' flat tire? I suck!
SWEET JESUS THAT LOUD EATER DURACELL AD IS MURDER WITH HEADPHONES.
Lap 28- Ed Jones just got Power-Bombed. How was that not a crash?
Welp, there goes Leist. AAAAAND ABC MISSED IT. FUUU-
"I hope it's this nice where you are," says Allen Bestwick. Yeah, 53 and pouring rain while all my racing friends are in St. Pete, JUST RUB IT IN, RUUUUUB IT IIIIIIIN.
OOH, OOH, ROSEANNE PROMO!! WHOOOOOO JACKIIIIIIEEEEE I can't wait for that shit. Judge me all you want. I don't care.
Formula 1 promo. My God, it's really happening. F1 back on ESPN. Allen Bestwick's laughter really weirds me out.
Lap 35- Welp, can't say I didn't see an incident coming between those two, Sato and Dixon.
Oh, shit, I didn't see one happening like that. Weird mistake for a former Champ to make.
Scott Goodyear calls Marco "Michael." I guess he really is stuck in the past today.
Lap 40-UHHHH WTF Happened to Jack Harvey? Ooh, ooh, I got $5 on it that ABC missed it!
Yep. They missed it. And here I was praising ABC just 2 days ago in a blog I'll never post.
My passing interest in American Idol makes me wonder if-aw who cares?
I should really, REALLY stop checking Twitter during races. It's awful.
Robert "Google Him, I Guess" Wickens is slicing like a hot spoon through a Cookiepuss today and it's beyond impressive.
Oh no, Bestwick, don't say "Cautions breed cautions," this isn't a stock car race on FOX.
"I wouldn't (be a crew member) for all the tea in China." I don't get it, would you want all the tea in China for its trade power or to drink? Help.
Rossi starting to chase Wicky down. Gonna be a "Hell of a race to the end," indeed, Sam Schmidt.
Is it just me or is it ALWAYS Lobsterfest at Red Lobster? I'm starting to think I'm being worked here.
ABC Missed pitstops, but has PLENTY of time to plug American Idol. Kill me.
OH NO, ROSSI! And barring incident, this one is going to Wickens. My, my, what a recovery though.
AND OH HELL NO WHY ARE YOU GOING TO BREAK WITH 11 TO GO?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
AWWWWWWWWWW BOOOOOY, CAUTION!!!!!
This, as the kids say, will be lit.
I can only imagine the swear words going around the SPM pitbox. Oh hey look there's Veronica. HEY V, HOW YOU DOIN'?
We gon' have ourselves a shootout, boys and girls.
Green flag and spank my ass and call me Charlie, ain't this exciting?
This really has been a banger of a race, the hype for Wickens is real.
Caution, this could be it. AND NO, NASCAR PUNDITS ON TWITTER, WE DON'T NEED YOUR GREEN WHITE CHECKEREDS.
Restart, 2 to go
WHOA WHOA CONTACT!! OH NO! WICKY IN THE WALL! IT'S GONNA BE BOURDAIS 2 YEARS IN A ROW!!!!!!!! WHAT A FINISH!!!!
As Jim Ross likes to say, that finish was bowling shoe ugly. But I liked it.
After last year, to see Bourdais get a win honestly gets me a little emotional. He's started with the same slate as last season, and no longer will we wonder what could have been. This year, we'll get to see it.
Takeaways from today:
Wickens is here and he's going to be a factor
Bourdais is back and just as good as ever
The new car is a hit, this race was damn near an instant classic
This one sure was a banger, eh? Well worth the offseason wait, and I'm glad I was off work to watch.
Time to watch the stock car race/take my afternoon nap.
Shall we do this again for Long Beach?