I'd be lying if I said I have had this blog in mind in the last 2 years. I have been busy living, and boy have I lived.
2 Years or so ago I was in a rough place, working at a grocery store and moonlighting working on track at IRP. My confidence was shot and I was unable to see the beauty around me.
But today? Well...
This weekend marks 3 years since moving to Indiana, a moment that was as much career motivated as it was personally. People have this attitude that moving is going to change their life overnight. What nobody tells you is, the early years of the process can be hectic, isolating, and lonely. I heard it from everyone I spoke to who also moved here, "I regretted it the first few years, but it got easier."
After three years I feel like I'm just now getting to "Easier."
I documented the toughness of my transition into a new life in prior posts, and the time that followed has been more of the same; I often feel alienated and scared, I have been a mess since my best friend moved away (friends are hard to come by here), and treating my mental health issues feels like a full time job. But I'm growing tougher, I'm learning how to navigate this strange world that felt so new and scary just a thousand or so days ago.
My work has become something to be proud of. I have gone from ringing up customers and dealing with bad managers at Meijer to working in racing for the bulk of my income like I always knew I would. Last year, I got to shoot for USAC and Eldora Speedway, dozens of my photos got used by IRP for marketing, and my work for FloSports has paid the bills many times. When I first moved here, I was making $10/hour and was so very scared of losing even that. Now? I take risks. I spend days working as a guide at the IMS Museum too, which is a high honor for me.
It isn't all perfect. I still struggle with anxiety and confidence issues. I am in therapy, have a new psychiatrist, but some wounds can only be healed by time itself- and that's okay. Time is on my side.
But time. Three years have passed, and every year I ask myself what the biggest lesson was from the time since I moved. I think, as time goes on the biggest lesson is that patience matters. In life, and in work, WAIT FOR YOUR OPPORTUNITY. It will taste so sweet when knowing you waited, whatever it is for.
Unlike last time I posted here, this time I feel optimistic. This time I feel like things'll go my way, I mean how can they not? I'm working so hard and showing so much passion.
I just have to wait a little longer.
As I travel for work more and more I plan to post photos and stories from my travels. My first of these posts will come right here very soon. I hope you all like what my plans are.